What Do I Do

What is it?What do I need to do? Am I needed to live a normal human? No,that can't be right. I'm here for a reason,I don't know what it is but i'll find out what it is. When something goes bad i wanna take the blame. I can't help that it's just me. I wanna help as many people as i can, I try but I  cause more pain than I make them feel better. What I need is help,not the suicide hotline,no I need a person to know how i feel.What people don't understand is that i would die for then but they won't do the same. I've seen what we humans are when we are treated like animals. We turn to monsters that can't be tamed. The people that are the good guys, they are discredited. I put myself in depression to know what or how it feels like. I need to help,I will not anyone die under my watch. This is what i want.This is what I need, I need to help the depressed,suicidal, and the alone. But I'm scared to help I've always had a heart for the lost. I'm scared of messing up,I've lied to my family. But if you are depressed,suicidal, or alone I'm here to help I understand what you are going through. Don't be afraid to tell someone, they will understand that you need them as a friend or a family member. When i put myself in depression ifeel alone,lost. But when i told someone it went away. But it doesn't work for everyone. I just want to help people. I wanna make the world a better place. I don't know where to start tho. Ii don't know who is going to be the next victim of suicide,or different things. But i'll stop with this rant so talk to you guys later.See ya.